Sunday, December 22, 2013

Oh, here I am.

Where have I been? Not crafting, that's for sure. 

I have been in the biggest crafting malaise since September. I've finished a few things, sure (though I don't count the knitting) but not nearly enough and I've designed nothing new.

It's been awful, but unavoidable. Part of it came from trying to stitch the Roman piece again because having stitched it once already it was just boring. I have finished the pattern but issues with the program I use to create symbol patterns means I haven't listed it yet.
Lately I've been dealing with a psychiatrist I dislike (hey man, saying things like "You don't look like a girl who would be single" is confusing, inappropriate, and creepy), horrible side effects from trying different anti-depressants, and the knowledge that those medications are unlikely to help me but this psychiatrist won't address what I feel WOULD help (don't worry, I've left him).

I actually got a bit further than this

So here you see what I've managed to get done, and a fractal piece that's nearly done (I'm cropping the pattern to fit in a 5x7 frame), though I probably won't finish it for Christmas. I've also knit this dinosaur cowl for my niece and I'm in the process of knitting one for my nephew. Hers is green with blue spikes and his is orange with blue spikes. 

Also, I've put up my Tintin, Captain Haddock, and Arsenal FC patterns for free (happy winter holiday/New Years). You can find all my free patterns here.

Present for a friend's baby.
I wish I could snap myself out of feeling the way I do, but it is a symptom of my life, and there's not too much I can change there. What I hope to change is the level of irrational anxiety I feel when communicating and especially when initiating communication. That's what's causing most of my depression, I think, both due to a lack of socializing and seeing myself act in a way that's SO foreign to my pre-disabled personality.

We'll see what 2014 will bring. 

How I feel/what I want to do. So jealous of my cat.


  1. That psychologist sounds awful. Makes you wonder how some of them manage to get and keep a license. Glad you've ditched him.

    1. I think a lot of the time people are afraid to complain. Any type of doctor or therapist has a lot of power over their patients.

  2. I am so very glad you kicked that idiot to the curb! Some of these so-called mental health professionals do so much more damage than anything else.

    Here is hoping you find someone better soonest, and that the new year brings you as much relief as possible from both depression and physical pain.

    1. Seriously. I feel awful for the people who don't realize they can find someone else.

      Thank you! I have a lead on a new psychiatrist, who also has a background in pain management, so fingers crossed I can get in to see her (I was always going to switch to a lady psych. anyway, even if that guy hadn't been awful).