Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Long lost something or other

What do I do with all my time? For the last while it's been audiobooks plus simple, mindless games. I've been having more trouble with the world of abled people, who, sometimes despite being Very Good Liberals, decide they're entitled to decide what is or isn't ableism, what is or isn't *truly* offensive. It has been triggering. I have hesitated to use that phrase for a while, but that's just what it is. It's not specific words or phrases that ruin me, it's the response when someone tries to educate them and it's able-splaining that follows. Ableism is so incredibly ingrained, we know that, we don't blame you for not understanding, we blame you for not being willing to learn.

Oh, wait, I had a purpose for posting! It's a new pattern and it's up in my shop. It's inspired a series, albeit with a very different message. Today I'm hoping to start the one that says "Wonder Woman wonders if you have your keys." I've never had a key problem, but many people seem to. The other already designed is "wonders why you came in this room anyway." And the figures have different poses. It cracks me up.

I had some vet scares with my cat, where were distressing. She seems to maybe be okay now? I don't know. She's almost 11, so I've been keeping my eye on her. I did learn that her teeth are in excellent shape, which was a relief. I bought her a spider costume in revenge for making me worry.

I also cut my hair (undercut all the way around) and discovered I finally have a white streak forming if I part my hair on this side. I have been waiting ages for this! I've realized I don't feel entirely like myself if I don't have at least a little bit of my head shaved.

I have read a lot of books in my internet/stitching absence. Only 9 more before I'm at my goal for the year. The goal was picked for it's being divisible by 52, but we'll see if I want more after a couple weeks of re-reading to my heart's content. Next year I'm not going to keep a numerical count as I read, and I'm going to list re-reads just as I list new-to-me books. No more making reading a job. I always still enjoy it, but I need to get away from productivity = worth so badly. In happier things, I made a giant image showing all the book covers of the books I've read this year (well, not quite done yet, obviously). And I made an animated gif of the books I read from my "things I own but haven't read" list, which is super pretty. Yup, I purposefully read them so the spines would make a rainbow (mostly in that order too, barring a few things).

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


I know objectively it's fine, but that girl isn't me.

Me? Again? So soon? Why yes.

I think maybe I need to be okay with posting even when I don't have an update on a piece of embroidery. I am working on something now, but it's a maybe-gift, so you know how it is. 

The wedding I was in went well, and I'm really glad I got to go and most glad I got to just hang out with the bride and get to know her a bit. The whole thing was beyond exhausting though, and I almost cried because my mom forgot that I can't eat American cheese and got a lunch where everything had it (can't as in it makes me gag severely and feel sick). I had a full face of makeup though, which kept me from losing it (though also made me feel like a clown since I almost never wear ANY make up).

On Thursday morning I leave again, which I was feeling better about pain-wise until a minute ago when I severely banged my foot on something and now it's bleeding and throbbing and sending shooting pains through my feet. I find it frustrating that I run into things so much, like zero personal spatial awareness, even though on tests spatial awareness in problem solving and such is my strongest point!
The wedding was in a rose garden.

Soon I'll be working on a cute wedding embroidery for the couple. Them as little chibi-figures in their wedding outfits, plus the date and all that. I'm excited about that, because it will be just too cute.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Ornate Bookshelf

Well, it's finally finished and up for sale in the shop now. It took a little over a month, though there were plenty of days when I couldn't work on it. I feel like the damn book outlines took the longest, probably because It's just so boring to stitch a long straight line.

I meant to post multiple times since the last update, but a big side effect of my depression is feeling like posting here or anyway is pointless, like my voice is at best annoying and at worst unwelcome. It's irrational, and I know that, but it doesn't make it easier.

Now I'm working on a non-counted piece now, and it may be a gift so I won't be able to post it. Not sure when will be next in terms of cross-stitch.

On Friday I leave for Charlotte and a friend's wedding. Right now I am freaking out a little, because of how awful my legs feel. After that I have a trip to meet my friend Christine though, and that's extra super exciting. If I'd never started doing embroidery we'd have never met. Plus she has an adorable baby and cat, so you know, bonus. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Book Shelf - WIP02

The first stage of this project is done! Frankly, the text is too, but I'm waiting to post until the background is filled. There's nothing more annoying to me than the WIP picture getting way more attention than the finished piece! 

I can wish it would only take two days to fill the background, they're just half-stitches after all, but I fear that's optimistic. Working on the larger Q-Snap frame is also a lot harder on my arms. Hopefully it stays sunny so I can get good light to work out the color choices. I have my picks already, but you just never know how they'll look until they're stitched. That being said, experience has really started to pay off in that regard. I have a much better grip on how much two colors will merge when stitched next to each other than I used to.

Books You Should Have Read in School: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. Just finished that recently and wow! I'd like to time travel and give it to my 19 year old self. What a beautiful book. Also, The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker was amazing.

Lately I'm trying to get away from the obsession with being productive. This kind of internalized ableism, that we're only worthy if we can be productive, is so insidious (and practically ubiquitous to the chronically ill). There was a great Tumblr post about talking about what we find fulfilling or fun or just important to us rather than productive. I've been so guilty of that, I'm afraid, and it will be very difficult to shake. Change the language and you start to the change the world though.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014


I'm working on another book pattern! I do love book related cross-stitch so much. This one will include the quote "Books are both our luxuries and our daily bread," under it (quote from Henry Stevens, an early American book collector).

When I list the pattern in the shop I think I'll also include versions using this quote from Malcolm X:  "I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity."

It's shaping up to be a beautiful piece, and I'm really pleased with it. I'll be doing the background of each book in a lighter shade of the main color. I wish DMC made more dark reds.

I had a wonderful CouchSurfer over the weekend, which really brought home how much I hate living by myself. It's very hard to be alone with myself so much. 

September will be a busy month for me. I'll be going to a friend's wedding and then visiting my best online friend (ha, ridiculous qualification, my best in-person friend in my mom). I'm so excited to meet her and her adorable baby.

Saturday, July 26, 2014


Just bumming around stitching small geometric pieces. I like it, though there's a fair bit of wonkyness due the usual issues of brain fog and not really caring too much. It's a quick, easy project in any case. If I make another I'll probably choose one color but a lot of different shades.

I read an amazing memoir, Mean Little Deaf Queer by Terry Galloway. I really can't recommend it enough. Also the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft is one of the most important books I've ever read. All the myths about abusers and abused people are slashed through. I think it's especially important for all young woman to read this book, just to know the traits they should be concerned about in partners. Everyone should read this though.

The postcards I had printed should get here today. I really should have taken advantage of the sale and had more designs printed. I got the Misandry one, my DMC color project (though it's cropped), and my "If books are not good company, where shall I find it?" piece. 

There will be a little run of cooler weather this week, which I'm quite excited for.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


Bec gave me permission to turn her pixel artwork into a proper cross-stitch pattern and distribute it. I'm pretty happy with the colors, though I've changed the notation to a different light pink in the pattern (one that's slightly pinker).

Here's the pattern with colored blocks and symbols. Here's the pattern with black and white symbols only. In case there's any confusion, misandry is basically a joke term. Individual people can discriminate against or dislike men, but it is not sexism, it is not a widespread, institutional system that discriminates against men in a vast, societal way.

The piece pleases me so much I'm having postcards printed of it. If you'd like one, feel free to e-mail me your address (mabithdarling at gmail).

Summer has been hard, in part due to being stuck inside so much, and a lot of extra pain lately. Some excellent reading though, and I got the best book holder ever, The Book Seat. I really recommend it if you have trouble holding books. Some reviews said it tipped with heavier books, but I didn't find that to be true at all (and I tested it with the largest, heaviest books I have). It even works well with mass market paperbacks.