Today is the Yesterday

I am picky about colors. I am a perfectionist. I am detail oriented. I will always see the flaws in my work and think about the piece's distance from the original vision in my head. It keeps me striving, but it would be nice to leave those traits in a ditch somewhere, at least sometimes.

While photography just can't capture the beauty of metallic thread used well, I assure you that this piece is the most gorgeous thing ever and I am 100% happy with it. I thought I'd ruined it when I'd just stitched the variegated part of the border and the green metallic, but once I started adding the blue I was in love again. The pattern is in my shop now.

The quote is from Alan Mendelsohn, Boy From Mars by Daniel Pinkwater, a brilliant YA novel. It's a book that removed my feelings of self-consciousness about my vivid imagination, which I'd picked up when friends dumped me in 7th grade over issues like "doesn't wear brand name clothing/shoes, doesn't shave legs, doesn't wear makeup," things that many equate with an exit from childhood (I found the idea of being a Woman frightening and repelling). Pinkwater's YA novels helped me remember that imagination was valuable and it was totally find to still be playing Calvinball and pretending I was Caesar leading his campaigns in Gaul.

I'm currently reading The Sibling Effect by Jeffrey Kluger. As the youngest of five children, who siblings ranged from five to fourteen years older than me, it should be an interesting read. My siblings and I are certainly opposites of the stereotypical birth order traits (I think that birth order stuff is bunk, largely, in part because there are SO MANY other factors of equal or more importance). I really really need to start some early reviewer books I received, but I've not been able to focus well enough for print reading lately. 

I know I have a strange cat, because for her sitting in boxes is a sign of illness. Poor baby.

Fizzy Good Make Feel Nice

This was a commissioned pattern that fell through, so I decided to stitch it myself and add to the shop to recoup some of the time spent on it. The quote is from Black Books, one of my favorite TV shows of all time, but taken out of context (in the show it refers to alkaseltzer). 

The pattern is in my shop now. I have another piece to put in the shop, but I'll wait to post it until then. I'll have to come up th another design quickly, as I'm feeling restless! I have print books I need to read though (one was an early reviewer I got, so I have to properly review that one as well).

My migraines seem to really be triggered by humidity, which is just mean since West Virginia is really humid. I wish I could easily try out living somewhere less humid, but it's just not very doable. I'd like to say I'm doing better, mental health wise, but that's hopefulness more than anything else. Glad to be excited about stitching again. I think part of that is giving myself permission to use non-DMC/Anchor threads. I don't want buyers to feel they have to pay for more expensive supplies or use threads that might go out of production any minute, but there are so many substitutes that can be found. Choosing colors is one of the most fun things about stitching, but I know not everyone wants to make that choice themselves.

Wondrous Beauty

I liked this quote so much I stitched it twice (and I hate stitching the same thing twice). It's from a Moomins book by Tove Jansson (check then out if you haven't yet, I've read one and really liked it). 

The pattern is up in my shop now. Up to now I've been very hesitant to use any non-DMC thread in my patterns. A lot of people seem to have trouble choosing colors themselves and I felt like everything I used should be easily available. I've threw that to the wind with this project. Kreinik metallics plus "wondrous beauty" on both pieces is done with over dyed stranded silk from another Etsy sellers. I have pretty threads and I want to use them! I will probably try to stick to commercially available products though, since you never know when an Etsy user will close shop or get rid of an item.

Trying to capture the gorgeous gleam of the metallic border was frustrating and impossible. Then trying to have the colors be accurate on the black aida was as terrible as I remember. I love black aida, and I hate it. Everything looks so awesome on black though. Wish everyone could see these pieces in person.

I just finished an excellent book for book-lovers, When Books Went to War by Molly Guptill Manning. It's about the drive to get books to servicemen (they didn't bother supplying service women, annoyingly) during WWII, and the creation of the Armed Services Edition paperback, specially designed to be light and portable and readable in any situation. Books soon became the most important 'luxury' for the troops, and many wrote letters to the authors and publishers. This program is basically what led to The Great Gatsby becoming an American classic (mixed feelings for me, I found that book so boring).

The program created a generation of readers who knew the incredible psychological value of reading, and won over many who hadn't previously been readers. It's a wonderful, feel good story. Interestingly, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn was one of the most popular, despite being narrated by a young girl. Author Betty Smith received an average of four letters per day from servicemen and responded to all of them.

what, so soon?

I've been in a stitching frenzy lately, I think partly in response to being in extra pain and needing a fierce amount of extra distraction. 

A good sign that your nerve signals are seriously messed up is this ridiculous mirror image pain. So sometimes you'll hurt the big toe on your right foot but the big toe on your left foot will also hurt, and sometimes it's the left toe that will hurt most and continue causing more pain than usual for months. Thanks a lot nerves.

I'm waiting for the mail to bring me two more shades of Kreinik before I can finish up this baby. I wish it was easier to capture the total shine of metallic thread in pictures. The quote is from a Moomins book, though I'm not sure which one. I read one Moomin book, the first published in English, Finn Family Moomin Troll, and I think I understand why they're so popular (in Europe that is).

Wonder Woman!

 Finally stitched the last Wonder Woman pattern of the bunch I designed a while back. This one is my favorite, because this Wonder Woman totally gets me. The number of times I'm standing in my kitchen or bathroom totally bewildered as to what brought me there is sad (I mean, there's only so much I could possibly want in the kitchen or bathroom).

The pattern is for sale in the shop now. Maybe I'll do more in the series later, but I don't have any concrete ideas at the moment.


I finally mailed a birthday/new baby package to my friend Christine, so I can post all those pieces now. Her daughter's name is Maisie and she enjoys the Maisy books so this was an obvious choice to stitch. I created the pattern from a coloring book image, and you can find it in my free pattern section. She's a Beastie Boys so this onesie was a given (though I'm still only partially happy with it, and I didn't pay enough attention to wear the fabri-solvy had wrinkled up, making my crochet hooks extra wonky). And then a name piece for the new baby. There really need to be more interesting and neutral alphabets out there. If I go temporarily mad maybe I'll try to make one.

After the onesie I had a desire to do a super detailed embroidery of a skein of floss, but I think I've regained my common sense now.

I'm working on a new pattern using a quote from a Moomins book: "There's no need to imagine that you're a wondrous beauty, because that's what you are." It involves lots of metallic gold thread. Which, by the way, the difference between trying to use DMC's metallic flosses and Kreinik's thread is night and day. Kreinik is so so easy. I still use the thread conditioner on it, but I don't think that's a necessary step. Plus they have such a HUGE range of colors and different colors of glow in the dark thread and they're made in my home state! I didn't realize they were a West Virginia product until I got my order for the dragons piece. So pleased to support my fellow West Virginians.

Just Drawn that Way

 New pattern finished and up for sale in the shop! Doing that fill took so long. Probably at least eight hours.

I wish metallic thread photographed better. Any Jessica Rabbit quote really needed some glitz and it does provide it well. I've altered the bust highlights in the finished pattern.

The metallic went okay once I started doing the one thread folded (with slipknot at the needle eye) method and started using the Thread Heaven conditioner. The silver was way easier than the red though. The red peeled easily to show a bloody silver core. What is DMC thinking? Surely they could use a red core? 

I'm working on and off on this Ink Circles pattern. I also went a bit nuts ordering pretty silk floss from an Etsy seller. The really vibrant ones tend to be less vibrant in person, just so you know. The yellow-orange is really gold-brown in person and doesn't look as nice against the blue as in the photo, but oh well. I was eager to try out the silk floss on something.

Long lost something or other

What do I do with all my time? For the last while it's been audiobooks plus simple, mindless games. I've been having more trouble with the world of abled people, who, sometimes despite being Very Good Liberals, decide they're entitled to decide what is or isn't ableism, what is or isn't *truly* offensive. It has been triggering. I have hesitated to use that phrase for a while, but that's just what it is. It's not specific words or phrases that ruin me, it's the response when someone tries to educate them and it's able-splaining that follows. Ableism is so incredibly ingrained, we know that, we don't blame you for not understanding, we blame you for not being willing to learn.

Oh, wait, I had a purpose for posting! It's a new pattern and it's up in my shop. It's inspired a series, albeit with a very different message. Today I'm hoping to start the one that says "Wonder Woman wonders if you have your keys." I've never had a key problem, but many people seem to. The other already designed is "wonders why you came in this room anyway." And the figures have different poses. It cracks me up.

I had some vet scares with my cat, where were distressing. She seems to maybe be okay now? I don't know. She's almost 11, so I've been keeping my eye on her. I did learn that her teeth are in excellent shape, which was a relief. I bought her a spider costume in revenge for making me worry.


I also cut my hair (undercut all the way around) and discovered I finally have a white streak forming if I part my hair on this side. I have been waiting ages for this! I've realized I don't feel entirely like myself if I don't have at least a little bit of my head shaved.

I have read a lot of books in my internet/stitching absence. Only 9 more before I'm at my goal for the year. The goal was picked for it's being divisible by 52, but we'll see if I want more after a couple weeks of re-reading to my heart's content. Next year I'm not going to keep a numerical count as I read, and I'm going to list re-reads just as I list new-to-me books. No more making reading a job. I always still enjoy it, but I need to get away from productivity = worth so badly. In happier things, I made a giant image showing all the book covers of the books I've read this year (well, not quite done yet, obviously). And I made an animated gif of the books I read from my "things I own but haven't read" list, which is super pretty. Yup, I purposefully read them so the spines would make a rainbow (mostly in that order too, barring a few things).

The Ornate Bookshelf

Well, it's finally finished and up for sale in the shop now. It took a little over a month, though there were plenty of days when I couldn't work on it. I feel like the damn book outlines took the longest, probably because It's just so boring to stitch a long straight line.

I meant to post multiple times since the last update, but a big side effect of my depression is feeling like posting here or anyway is pointless, like my voice is at best annoying and at worst unwelcome. It's irrational, and I know that, but it doesn't make it easier.

Now I'm working on a non-counted piece now, and it may be a gift so I won't be able to post it. Not sure when will be next in terms of cross-stitch.

On Friday I leave for Charlotte and a friend's wedding. Right now I am freaking out a little, because of how awful my legs feel. After that I have a trip to meet my friend Christine though, and that's extra super exciting. If I'd never started doing embroidery we'd have never met. Plus she has an adorable baby and cat, so you know, bonus. 

Book Shelf - WIP02

The first stage of this project is done! Frankly, the text is too, but I'm waiting to post until the background is filled. There's nothing more annoying to me than the WIP picture getting way more attention than the finished piece! 

I can wish it would only take two days to fill the background, they're just half-stitches after all, but I fear that's optimistic. Working on the larger Q-Snap frame is also a lot harder on my arms. Hopefully it stays sunny so I can get good light to work out the color choices. I have my picks already, but you just never know how they'll look until they're stitched. That being said, experience has really started to pay off in that regard. I have a much better grip on how much two colors will merge when stitched next to each other than I used to.

Books You Should Have Read in School: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. Just finished that recently and wow! I'd like to time travel and give it to my 19 year old self. What a beautiful book. Also, The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker was amazing.

Lately I'm trying to get away from the obsession with being productive. This kind of internalized ableism, that we're only worthy if we can be productive, is so insidious (and practically ubiquitous to the chronically ill). There was a great Tumblr post about talking about what we find fulfilling or fun or just important to us rather than productive. I've been so guilty of that, I'm afraid, and it will be very difficult to shake. Change the language and you start to the change the world though.

Books

I'm working on another book pattern! I do love book related cross-stitch so much. This one will include the quote "Books are both our luxuries and our daily bread," under it (quote from Henry Stevens, an early American book collector).

When I list the pattern in the shop I think I'll also include versions using this quote from Malcolm X:  "I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity."

It's shaping up to be a beautiful piece, and I'm really pleased with it. I'll be doing the background of each book in a lighter shade of the main color. I wish DMC made more dark reds.

I had a wonderful CouchSurfer over the weekend, which really brought home how much I hate living by myself. It's very hard to be alone with myself so much. 

September will be a busy month for me. I'll be going to a friend's wedding and then visiting my best online friend (ha, ridiculous qualification, my best in-person friend in my mom). I'm so excited to meet her and her adorable baby.

Misandry!

Bec gave me permission to turn her pixel artwork into a proper cross-stitch pattern and distribute it. I'm pretty happy with the colors, though I've changed the notation to a different light pink in the pattern (one that's slightly pinker).

Here's the pattern with colored blocks and symbols. Here's the pattern with black and white symbols only. In case there's any confusion, misandry is basically a joke term. Individual people can discriminate against or dislike men, but it is not sexism, it is not a widespread, institutional system that discriminates against men in a vast, societal way.

The piece pleases me so much I'm having postcards printed of it. If you'd like one, feel free to e-mail me your address (mabithdarling at gmail).

Summer has been hard, in part due to being stuck inside so much, and a lot of extra pain lately. Some excellent reading though, and I got the best book holder ever, The Book Seat. I really recommend it if you have trouble holding books. Some reviews said it tipped with heavier books, but I didn't find that to be true at all (and I tested it with the largest, heaviest books I have). It even works well with mass market paperbacks.

Humanitarian Finished

I have finished my Mother Jones quote pattern and it is up for sale in my Etsy shop now. I'm pretty happy with it, though I wish I'd reversed the colors in the border so that the lighter purple comprised most of it.

Oh well. It was fun to design and fun to stitch, and that's important.

I've started on a slightly less fun piece now. An addition to my Dreams and Nightmares work.

What I need are small clips that I could use to clip the excess fabric to the embroidery hoop. This is an old idea, right? Or should I be contacting a manufacturer and making millions? Not sure anyone can make millions with anything related to embroidery...

Mine Your Manners

Finished the Minecraft pattern, and it's for sale in the shop. I went to my friend Chris for the idea, since I don't play the game. I felt like out of the Minecraft cross-stitch bandwagon, and I do know what the kids like...

Did you know that litterateur is a word? Like raconteur, only more accurate for me. I own a lot of books (over 800, which is a fair few for someone who's only turning 29 this year). My TV is between two bookcases and I usually keep it covered with a small embroidered tablecloth, as otherwise it quite clashes with the teacup collection above it. 

Soo my next project might be to embroider "Litterateur" on the tablecloth. Or I'll start one of the quotes for my feminist handkerchief project. I'm going to the beach in a week, the timeshare my mum has. It's my favorite time of every year (we've this is our fifth or sixth year there). We mostly do a lot of thrift store shopping and watching the sunset on the beach while drinking.

Definitely not doing a counted embroidery project next, in any case.

Women Who Don't Help Other Women

New pattern up in the store! The quote is from Madeleine Albright, the first women to become US Secretary of State. I had a really random crush on her in middle school, because she's awesome. Now I live in fear that she didn't actually say this. Sigh.

I finished it over the weekend, but have found you never want to post something new on the weekend. So many people do so much internetting at work now. I've never had a job where that was really an option, so it still seems weird to me.

Just so there’s no nonsense later, when I say women I mean anyone who identifies as a women. And also, those of us who are viewed as women but don’t consider it a part of our identity. I’ve never felt particularly connected to either gender, but I know what I’m seen as, and feminism is the most important issue in my life. 

My niece is very into saying "So and so is a woman, so and so is a man" right not. The last time I said I didn't think that was very important, and the main thing is that I'm just me. She gave me a very skeptical look, but I can't resist. Of course she's a toddler and toddlers tend to want to classify the world and give it lots of order, but I feel it's my job to throw some anarchy in there. I am the youngest aunt, after all.

Soon I'll be starting a Minecraft pattern. I don't play it, but I know what the kids like.

All Girls Together

Here’s a pattern for you all! I’m doing this quote for a pattern that will be in my shop as well, but the girls dancing image is from a 1900 publication and other than transcribing it to a clean, legible printable, copy, I didn’t do much work. I wish they’d had a few more perfectionist/obsessives doing those old patterns…

The font is from my backstitch font set in my shop. With Blogger I'm not sure the best way to get the pattern at original size (and thus best legibility), so you can just save it from here.

The dimensions are 93x92 stitches, no grid due to the backstitch. Some of the face stitches aren’t full stitches or from corner to corner, mostly the noses and mouths, so experiment and be a bit loose there.

I just loved this image so much (and the quote of course). So someone please stitch it so I can see how it looks finished! I have so many other things to work on…

Rome - WIP 03

I've been in a slump and not wanting to stitch, I'm afraid. I'm tired of doing the things I can do rather than what I want to do.

I love reading, I'd read lot even if I weren't disabled and alone mostly, but if I were active I wouldn't read over 100 books a year. I'd have other stuff I wanted to do. I'd rather be playing soccer in the park with my niece and nephew, or taking long meandering walks around town to take pictures. I'd rather be working 60 hours a week in the bookstore or really anywhere than creating and stitching cross-stitch so much.

It's just hard, and I'm not doing well coping with my life lately.

In any case, here's my progress on Rome. Getting close to the finish, though taking a break today to finish up reading a library book that's due soon. It's The Riddle of the Labyrinth by Margalit Fox, about the decoding of Linear B, and a woman who deserves a lot of the credit but died and got none. Story of womankind right there.

Rome II - WIP 01

Well, I finally tore myself away from Christmas gifts and started working on the second-stitching of my Roman mosaic. There's just enough done to look super creepy and Halloweeny.

This was the first "pattern from image" that I created, and the largest thing I'd stitched the first time around (probably still the largest, really, in terms of individual stitches). I was still a novice in every way, and didn't think too much about the design once it was done. I altered a few things while stitching, but not much.

Now of course I'm altering plenty, to give it smoother lines and curves, and taking it further from the original mosaic. When I stitched this the first time I only left a border of three or four squares of blank fabric on any side. I didn't use any sort of frame, either. It amazes me now, but that's the only way I knew to do it then.

I need to write down all the Christmas stitching ideas, as I keep forgetting them, thinking I have nothing planned, and then suddenly remember that I have almost everything planned. Sigh! Honestly I'm feeling dreadfully behind on shopping, and I've got two birthdays to plan for before Christmas as well!

Bless This Hive of Scum and Villainy

Here it is, gang, my greatest embroidery pattern EVER.

I'm so happy with it all around. I actually tested all the colors on a scrap of the fabric before starting to stitch (unheard of for me) and I think that really helped, as I'm really happy with that aspect as well (though the blue is a bit bright in certain lights/pictures.

Anyway, the pattern is now up in my Etsy shop.

Currently working on a Christmas present that I can't post here, but I've also got a small free embroidery piece going that I should be posting soon. I'm intending to restitch my Roman mosaic too, now that I own all the DMC colors.

I've started using software to convert some of my patterns into all symbols versions, since I know a lot of people prefer that. They're so hard for me to read myself though. When you've got a lot of colors obviously that's the best option, likewise if you've got limited printer ink, but for a simple pattern I think colored squares are so much easier to read. Of course I can't use printed out patterns at all since I'm pretty well lying down when I stitch. 

Tomorrow I'll have a post about this year's Quilt National exhibit at the Dairy Barn. It's an especially incredible group this year, with loads of embroidery incorporated.

Cthulhu!

Man, I've been so dozy lately. I'm sure it's partly just the summer, but I don't know, there's a serious case of ennui here.

In any case I finished Cthulhu, and I must say, I'm quite pleased with it. The pattern is for sale in my shop now. Getting the greens to work and be distinct but blendy was a fucking nightmare. Seriously, I hate the color green, I think it's worst for "Oh these look completely distinct unless I stitch them at which point they are indistinguishable."

Now I've started a small piece or St. Trinian's art, featuring field hockey players of course, but after/in the middle of that I have many plans for this thoroughly unimpressed owl.

The first one is for a parent friend, and will say "Yes, please tell me your opinions on my parenting decisions." Then I think one for me that says "Yes, I'm sure yoga will cure my neurological disease."

It's a concept with no bounds, I feel. Oh, the owl is from a medieval motif, which makes it even better.

Maisie Kate

Ah, I can't believe I forgot to post this! I was so happy I got to finally use this alphabet. It took me YEARS to track down an extremely poor copy of the pattern, and was more frustrating to read than stitch. 

I made this for my friend Christine's new baby, and was so excited to post here, and then once she'd received it I forgot!d

In other work, I spent ages on the robot sampler pattern design and decided I just hated it. Then I spent some ages on a Cthulhu twisted "bless this house" design, which I like and will start stitching as soon as I get some more 14 count Aida, since of course that's the one count I don't have.

I'm also working on a (gasp) subversive project. Free embroidery, more artsy/political statementy, which I'll post a progress shot of in the next few days.

It's summer, and I hate summer. I've also been desperately looking for something to stitch for my mom's birthday, but nothing is speaking to me.